Buttons

Sometimes you want to press that Button.
That cleans up everything, your Past, your Present and your Brain.
That Button that make you deal with all this fucking Pain.
Make you smile and walking straight on, without fear your own Future.
Because from now on, everything has this little positive side,
you now can see and use as a ladder to the fucking top of your skills.

Did you know, that this Button exist?
It's called Optimism.

And it fuckin save lives.

Rechtschreibfehler existieren nicht.
Das sind Stilelemente, Penner.

Rückzug

Das Gefühl, irgendwie gar nicht wirklich dazuzugehören frisst an mir.
Es ist irgendwie immer da, im Hintergrund,
und manchmal merke ich das irgendwas nicht stimmt, kann aber nicht erfassen was.
Meistens ist es dann diese Ahnung, das man nur geduldet wird.
Belächelt.
Mit einer Handbewegung abgetan.

Und dieses Gefühl und die Angst dann jemandem negativ aufzufallen,
sorgen dafür das ich mich anfange zurückzuziehen.
Und - wenn man mich tatsächlich gemocht hat - dann wirklich ins Aus gerate,
weil ich mich nicht mehr beteilige, aus Angst ins Aus zu geraten.
Fuck Logic.

Ich kenne diese meine Denkmuster und ich versuche drauf zu achten,
Rückzug zu stoppen, aber oft fällts einem erst auf wenns schon zu spät ist.
Und dann?
N Strich mehr an der Wand.
Ein Kreuz mehr auf der Liste mit Orten oder Foren oder Menschen.
Ein kleines bisschen Hoffnung weniger.

Vielleicht gehöre ich irgendwann wirklich irgendwo hin.
Ich wünsche es mir.

Still I Cry

Well I thought
That all wounds heal in time
I can sing 
To get you off my mind
Still I cry

This is love?
What does sorrow means?
If I had a choice 
I'd forget you now
My heart treats me mean
Still I cry

I got to close my eyes
'cause I see you in everything
Maybe then I can stop 
Salty steady streams
Still I cry

When I met you I thought
Heartache, Sorrow will come my way no more
I thought our love was enough to keep you here at home
Foolish I guess I was 'cause I dared to dream
Put my heart in your hands with you my everything

I Guess I'll love you forever
Guess I'll love you forever
Baby you said forever
Forever

I'm alone
Don't know where you've gone
I'm lost in my memories I've lost my pride
I sit here and I wait
Still i cry

When I met you I thought
Heartache, Sorrow will come my way no more
I thought our love was enough to keep you here at home
Foolish I guess I was 'cause I dared to dream
Put my heart in your hands with you my everything

I Guess I'll love you forever
Guess I'll love you forever
Baby you said forever
Forever

There was joy
Now there is just pain inside
It's been a long long 
Long long time
Still I cry



by Tracy Chapman

Dinge, die mich spontan zum lachen bringen Teil 4

Toxic Time

You left me wordless,
my damaged soul was shot again.
In the name of fairness,
just stand your man.

Forth and back I'm sneaking,
theres no point to gain.
speechless I try speaking,
but it's all in vain.

Dear You

Dear You - (V.) Yuduki

Where are now, what are you doing?

Are you in this endless sky?

I realize for the first time that I've lost 

what has been in my heart until now

How much you supported me

How much you made me smile

That I'd lost them was too much to consider

Even though I struggled so desperately to reach out 

to them and take them back

But like the wind, they slipped through my fingers

Looking as though they would reach me, but did not

My chest was filled with loneliness and despair

My heart felt like it would break

But your smiling face remains in my memories

Always encouraging me

Let's return to those days once more

This time, I know it will be alright

Always smiling by your side

Close by your side

Where are now, what are you doing?

Are you in this endless sky?

Will you smile for me like always?

Right now, it's all that I continue to ask for

~~~

Anata wa ima doko de nani wo shite imasu ka?

Kono sora no tsuzuku basho ni imasu ka?

Ima made watashi no kokoro umete ita mono ushinatte hajimete kizuita

Konna ni mo watashi wo sasaete kurete ita koto 

Konna ni mo egao kureteita koto

Ushinatte shimmatta daishou wa totsusumonaku ooki sugite

Torimodosou to hisshi ni te wo nobashite mogaku keredo 

Maru de kaze no you ni surinukete todokisou de todokanai

Kodoku to zetsubou ni mune wo shimetsukerare 

Kokoro ga kowaresou ni naru keredo

Omoide ni nokoro anata no egao ga watashi wo itsumo

Hajemashite kureru

Mou ichido ano koro ni modorou 

Kondo wa kitto daijoubu

Itsuma soba de waratteiyou

Anata no sugu soba de

Anata wa ima doko de nani wo shite imasu ka?

Kono sora no tsuzuku basho ni imasu ka?

Itsumo no you ni egao de ite kuremasu ka?

Ima wa tada sore wo negai tsuzukeru

"I can't drown my demons, 'cause they know how to swim."